Yesterday, I found out I have ADHD. It explains a lot and having a diagnosis will be some help as far as accommodations go. Knowledge is power and the more I know, the better I can help myself, but that wasn’t my first reaction.
My first reaction was that this can’t happen to me. To think that I’d always been a bit twitchy and had a short attention span, but I certainly didn’t have ADHD. I wasn’t like that. I wasn’t twitchy and hyper, with no control over myself.*
I rejected it out of hand, becuase I couldn’t be like those people, the stereotype of people with ADHD and ADD. I’ve been trying to work on my internalized ableism, but this time I failed. I failed as an advocate, even if only in my head. It just reaffirms that I have a long way to go.
On another note, having another diagnosis is starting to make my life feel a bit unreal. That makes 5 different things affecting my mind, my work, my life. I’m worried I’ll be taken as one of those Munchhausen’s by internet people. I just write about my life and this is it.
*Trust me, I know that’s an offensive stereotype and I am not saying it is valid.