I’m not sure I’m really qualified to write about working, what with my longest official job lasting around 6 weeks. I didn’t get fired, but it was seasonal.
My doctor’s don’t ever think I’ll be able to work full time. and stay sane. I mean that literally, not in the cutesy sense people like to use the word sane. I’m still figuring out what I want to do. I’m considering switching my major to disability studies or graphic design, but I’m not sure what I want to do just yet.
I’m also, and I hate to admit it, a bit scared of the fact that I’m going have to ask for reasonable accommodations under the ADA, but it is necessary. It’s not as if a work place is going to believe that Figaro is a service dog on my word alone.
To be honest, because I can pass sometimes, even if it does take up spoons, I’m not sure I want to bring him to interviews. It feels dishonest to spring him on the employer once I’m hired, but I at the same time I don’t want to be counted out because of assumptions. Of course, it’s just a function of my privilege that I can hide sometimes.
I’m not sure where I stand on passing right now. I can’t pass as white or male if I wanted to, so it feels odd to have this option of passing in the context invisible disability. I never really passed as straight, but I can do it if I put effort into it, like when I’m in my hate filled home town.
Passing in order to get privileges is just very interesting to me right now, especially as it relates to work and school. A good part of my failure for the last two semesters can be traced to my urge to pass and refusal to use accommodations that I need. I’m still struggling with identifying as disabled in meatspace, even though I’ve been this way since I was a toddler.
Thus, I work on how feel and keep mulling things over. This didn’t turn out as quite the post I wanted it to be, so I’ll write one that is a bit more generalized latter this week.